A Tale of Two Kitties
No not Oliver and Grace though Rachel has begun pointing at them and saying "gat!" quite emphatically which we have taken to be baby-speak for 'cat'. Of course she also points at dogs and strangers and the ceiling fan and says the same thing but Hey! I don't jump around on your delusions. So back off!

No this tale involves two other cats (well actually four other cats but I'm jumping ahead of the story). A friend of ours was going on vacation and wanted us to watch her two cats. We agreed readily. She had watched ours and we had watched hers and it was just altogether too handy to have a person come by and play with the kitties so that we could take a few days off and not worry that they were trying to eat each other out of starvation.

When we arrived and opened the door one of the cats was right there. And when he realized that it was not our friend returning took off like a shot. Now I thought he had made it out the door but CJ was pretty sure that he hadn't. I was carrying Rachel at the time so I couldn't say with any certainty. When you have a baby in your arms sometimes it's a little difficult to see what's going on around your feet.

We fed the cats. Played with the one cat that came out to see us. And did a cursory search of the apartment looking for the other one. We didn't find him but that wasn't anything new. This cat (Bandit) has always been really skitterish and has hidden every time we've been by to feed them. So it was really nothing new not seeing him.

Well when we went to leave we saw Bandit sitting at the edge of the forest that rings the apartment complex. And then the hunt was on. Two and a half hours later we were exhausted and light was failing. Two and a half hours crawling around the woods being eaten alive by mosquitos snagged and cut by brambles and the only thing we had to show for it was a whole lot of anxiety.

We were guilt wracked and horrified. How would we feel if something happened to Oliver or Grace? We had lost her cat.

We called our friend and told her the news. She suggested a number of hiding places inside the apartment. The next morning CJ searched them all. Still no cat. But now at the edge of the woods she saw two identical cats. Both of them looked like Bandit. She called our friend up again and told her that she had searched the apartment and had not found Bandit. Our friend decided to call short her vacation and return home. More guilt for the guilt mill.

So our friend returned home and while she was in the bathroom out strolled Bandit. He'd been in the apartment the whole time. Just hiding really really well.

And in the aftermath we kept thinking what if we had managed to catch one of the two Bandit look-a-likes, catnap him and deposit him uncerimoniously in the apartment? We are now pretty certain that both imposters are part of a feral group of cats that live around in the surrounding woods. What horrible destruction would our friend have returned home to?

I'm sorry about the worry and cutting your vacation short, Is. But I'm glad that Bandit is okay. Sneaky bastard.

posted by Michael 12:56 PM . . .

. . .

Walking Death Fish -1 Maryland-0
As predicted here first the Maryland Department of Natural Resources has failed to kill off the dreaded snakehead fish after dumping 100 gallons of poison into a suburban Maryland pond. What they have succeeded in doing is poisoning the water and inevitably the surrounding soil and any number of other environmental factors that are delicately linked through the whole ecosystem idea. Will they now be rethinking their strategy. Nope. Just looking to add 100 gallons of a different more virulent poison. Will they eventually succeed in ridding the pond of snakehead fish? Probably. (Those that don't just walk away) And as a bonus they will also rid the area of any number of birds, squirrels, cats, dogs, water striders, plants and homeless people.

Who knew when they were calling themselves the Free State, they meant of wildlife.

posted by Michael 12:06 PM . . .

. . .

Forgot to Mention...
Over the past weekend we finally received a receipt from INS (Immigration and Naturalization Services) which extended my green card for another year while we wait for them to process the permenant version. I am once again a legal resident! Whooohooo! Too bad it didn't come a couple of weeks earlier so I could have travelled to take part in a good friend's wedding. We decided that we didn't want to chance crossing the border into Canada and then risk being stopped on the return trip and refused entry. That would sucketh mightily.

But that is no longer a worry... assuming that they get the forms processed within a year. Hmmm... maybe I'm stopping worrying a little too soon.

posted by Michael 3:26 PM . . .

. . .

There's a 12 Step Program For Everything!

(See I knew that there was a cure.)

Inclusively Exclusive
(Warning: Contains Language)

I’ve been mulling over a topic that came up recently regarding ‘reclaiming’ words and word usage inside closed groups. On the one hand I understand the desire. As a person who feels quite comfortable identifying myself as a witch I know what it is like taking on a label that fits outside the societal norm. Yet, I have very little patience for my fellow ‘witches’ when they complain about the odd looks and questions that they get when they identify themselves publicly. What did they expect? The negative connotation of the word ‘witch’ has a lot of cultural momentum. Despite some creative etymology and historical myth making on the part of the pagan community, it has never been a positive word. That is why there is an element of ‘reclaiming’ (or in this case maybe just ‘claiming’) in identifying yourself as a witch. We have to recognize that there are other dominant definitions for the word and not be surprised or insulted when someone else uses those definitions instead of the one that we would prefer. Reclaiming is not an immediate thing. It is a process toward change. We must show patience in calmly explaining our definition. We lost the right to be angry and disgusted when we chose to identify with a word with negative societal connotations.

So that is the ‘positive’ reclaiming that happens: an effort to add or change the definitions of words and the cultural context in which they occur. I consider the redefining of ‘queer’ in the gay community another example of positive reclaiming because this effort crosses over into society at large. Another is the use of inclusive language in religious liturgy. But there is a negative reclaiming that also happens within closed communities and for the most part the negative can be distinguished by the exclusivity of use. “Fag’ and ‘homo’ are used jokingly within the gay community but are considered inappropriate for use outside of that community. Likewise ‘nigger’ is okay for African-Americans but never okay for anyone else.

Now I submit that these inclusively exclusive words are not appropriate for anyone to use closed community or not. They are in fact an internalization of hatred and inferiority directed at the minority group. It is taking the language of hate and making it in-culture. And it is a phenomenon that only occurs within minority groups. You do not see white people calling each other “Hey kracker!” as a greeting. You will probably never hear the phrase “You’re my honky” used by white America except in satire or parody. Why? Because white America is in power and it can dictate the terms that it chooses to apply or ignore. Not so with the minority groups.

By making the word ‘nigger’ or ‘fag’ acceptable only within a closed community, it legitimizes those terms as expressions of hatred. It internalizes the powerlessness of the group (and not in a good or constructive way) by using the words of hate as self-referential. There is no movement to change the definitions from hatred to something else. It is merely the claiming of exclusivity in use of those negative terms.

The problem is those groups as minority groups do not have the power to enforce such an exclusivity. So those terms remain terms of hatred even when they are being used within that community. And it sends a mixed message to society at large regarding the acceptability of those words.

If a word is inappropriate or disgusting then it is inappropriate or disgusting for everyone to use. If a word is a word of hate and discrimination then it is a word of hatred and discrimination no matter whose mouth it comes out of.

I believe that these minority groups are demeaning themselves by taking on the language of the oppressor. That it is an internalization of the societal view that they are not as worthy of respect as the majority and that it channels their indignation away from positive effecting change and into proprietary rights over words and phrases that should never be used in the first place...

Of course that is just my opinion. Off to climb onto my broom and turn some people into toads.

posted by Michael 9:45 AM . . .

. . .

Christian Says Pagans Can't Use His Toilets
A relatively local story (well local to me anyway) about a pagan group, a portapotty rental company and some good old fashion religious intolerance and discrimination. They decided to do a rap song. I'd just sue. If you take the time to download their song you may come to the conclusion that a law suit would actually be a mercy in comparison. You can read the story in all its fecal glory right here.

I knew things were bad but...

posted by Michael 10:20 PM . . .

. . .

Disgusted by Bumper Stickers
That's right... let's use our new found patriotism to promote hate. My wife has reported seeing a number of bumper stickers sporting Osama Bin Laden's head in a crosshairs circle with the slogan "Kill them all. Let Allah sort it out." Kill them all. That's a lovely message right there isn't it? Why start overseas when there's a mosque just down the street. We could all pick up some rocks and pointy sticks and catch them when they're all kneeling to pray. Stupid muslims.

posted by Michael 9:51 AM . . .

. . .

Texas: Education? No time! We've got prisons to run!
Would anyone be surprised to learn that Texas spends more on prisons then on education? I mean it is Texas afterall. The fatherland of Jeb and George (almost sounds like a Washington Hillbillies show). Hang'em High George. George... the education president. Leave no one behind (unless they're behind bars that is) Dedicated to improving the quality of 'eductation'. Hey... I hear you can get your GED in prison. You can read about it here and see the figures for yourselves.

posted by Michael 9:35 AM . . .

. . .

Mourners killed by Lightning Bolt

What kind of bad luck do you need to get hit by lightning and die while attending a funeral? I know it's sad and I know I shouldn't laugh but come on! A funeral! The science fiction author Spider Robinson once made the observation "If a person who commits a burglary is a burglar and a person who commits a felony is a felon then God is an iron." I've only been able to find articles reporting three deaths but CNN is saying it's now up to four. In either case you can read one of the articles here.

You've got to know that people are thinking twice about showing up for their funerals. Sure the odds of being killed by lightning are one in 4,289,651. But lightning strikes the Earth once every five seconds. That's a lot of chances.

posted by Michael 9:09 AM . . .

. . .

The Art of the Justification
As I wander around the web peeking in corners for interesting blogs or bits of news I am struck by the earnest way that completely different and disparate views can be argued with such passion. Using the same statistics or incidents of news one seems able to justify just about any position which has led me to wonder about whether history can ever be an objective account of what has gone before. For instance it is clear that both the Israeli/Zionist world view and the Palestinian/terrorists that have co-opted their cause world view are mutually exclusive. Do we assume that one is correct and the other completely without merit? Or will history someday straddle the two versions and take a middle road approach?

Justification is a necessary evil in order to hold rigidly to any opinion. Whether those opinions are grounded in matters of faith, political ideology or personal belief we find justification for those beliefs through a created world view. We are all apologists for the things that have meaning for us. But here is the part that galls me; because world views are justified (legitimized) by the perception of events those views are held as a measure of personal worth and a measure of superiority. Let me explain what I mean...

I was in a conversation recently about gender coding in society and while the discussion was interesting and I listened intently to everything that was being said I came away with the distinct impression of being taught at. That if I was a more enlightened person I would of course share their world view as it was obviously superior to my own. It was right. Any challenges or worth in any other options became a measure of my worth and complacency rather then a challenge to the world view that was being espoused.

Nietzche that wonderfully mad but brilliant fascist said "It is not having the courage of ones convictions but having the courage to withstand an attack on ones convictions" (paraphrased) A world view must be a fluid thing. We grow best when we drop our blinders and actually consider those things that challenge the beliefs we hold dearest. Or put another way: if we must justify our beliefs then they are not wholly realized and our world view is flawed.

Just my thoughts...

posted by Michael 1:31 PM . . .

. . .

Birthday Girl!

Seen here completely demolishing her own little cake.

All in all I think the past weekend can be counted as a success. It had its moments of insanity and drama. Sometimes I felt the need to duck and hide. It was all so overwhelming. I find it hard to believe that Rachel is now one year old. It doesn't seem possible. It doesn't seem like a year. Where has the time gone? We are in the process of packing up and putting away some of her toys. She has so many now that the house seems scarcely big enough to contain them all. They have co-opted every laundry basket, crept into every corner, can be found under every piece of furniture. And it is surprisingly hard to pack them away. Especially the ones with names. 'Inchy' and 'Toronto'. Mr. and Mrs. Pumpkinhead. Make room for the new and out with the old.

And of course every new toy makes noise. A lot of noise. Toy drums and xylophones, talking school buses and giant frogs. A dump truck and building block legos. The legos on their own don't make noise of course but they sure do make a racket when she dumps them out of their box and sits there banging them together. The electronic marvels invariably have two settings: loud and louder. Some of them have no off-switch. Those toys are particularly evil.

I think we are planning on donating the majority of her 'outgrown' toys to a local homeless shelter. Some of them will make their way in boxes to friends who have new children of their own. I find the idea that they will be played with and loved by other babies a form of solace.

Happy Birthday Rachel. You may not remember this weekend but I will... plus we have it all on video tape for future blackmail purposes.

posted by Michael 11:47 AM . . .

. . .

Trees Burn but Bush Comes Under Fire
President Bush is taking some heat from environmentalists over his proposed "Healthy Forest Initiative" which seeks to open up the protected national forests to logging companies. "We need to thin" he said in a speech Thursday following a tour of some fire-ravaged land in southwestern Oregon.

The Bush administration will use any excuse and play off of any fear or insecurity to push its agenda of big business over the environment. Want to break our dependence on Iraqi oil? We've got to drill the Alaskan wilderness. Want to stop forest fires? We've got to cut down trees and thin the forests. Let's not invest in much needed fire fighting equipment like some more water drop planes and helicopters. Or hire more rangers so that detection happens quicker. Instead we're going to trust our conservation to the people who make money by chopping down trees. And what a lot of money they're set to make if this plan goes through.

Want to stop our dependence on Iraqi oil? How about raising the minimum milleage requirement for automobiles. Making a manditory 26 miles/gallon and putting a limit on gas guzzling SUV's would save millions and millions of gallons of oil a year. Far more than we get from Iraq and far more than we would get from Alaska. And those savings would have an immediate effect. We have the technology to do it right now. Not a possible effect some ten years from now because first they'd have to set up the drilling infrastructure and supply network.

Likewise the logging issue. Bush hammers his fist on the podium and says how important saving our forests from fire is to him and his administration but none of the measures that he is asking for would have any immediate effect. If he had any real interest in conservation he would be espousing measures that would have a measurable effect other then lining the pockets of big business with more taxpayer dollars.

``The new policy is classic doublespeak,'' said Kenneth Kreuschu, 24 from Cascadia Forest Alliance. ``It has been shown time and again that more cutting leads to more fire. The new policy is a hoax.''

You can read more about the Bush forestry plan here.

Update:You can read about the 500 plus protestors who were ordered to disperse and pepper sprayed here.

posted by Michael 10:14 PM . . .

. . .

Would You Like Fries With That?

posted by Michael 9:43 PM . . .

. . .

Fish Look for Bottled Water...
Looks like a case of 'when all else fails, lower your standards'. Florida is in the process of cleaning their polluted water the easy way. By enforcing stricter standards on big business? Nope. Undertaking a state wide water awareness program? Uhh-uhh. Let's try changing the definition of polluted so that 600 bodies of water currently red-flagged as 'impaired' will suddenly be given a clean bill of health. Now a body of water will only be considered polluted if you actually develop cancer and burst into flames after drinking from it. Strangely enough this new definition will still cover about 24 bodies of water.

In a related story the Florida Department of Child Services is thinking of reclassifying the missing children that they had lost track of as being on "unsanctioned holiday".

You can read the water story here.

posted by Michael 6:24 PM . . .

. . .

Feminist Thought…

I should preface this by saying that I am not a feminist nor do I play one on tv. I choose to call myself an ‘equalist’ so long as I am the one who gets to define the term because the word ‘equal’ is a sandtrap which too many people fall into. It’s like the arsenic and cyanide in our water. We let those in authority get into arguments about how much arsenic is too much arsenic. They produce studies and rattle papers while the people actually putting it in our water sit back and say “See… even they can’t agree.” When what we should be doing is shouting at the top of our lungs “They’re putting poison in our water! Poison! In our water!” And we should keep shouting it till they stop. Every argument about quantities per million and acceptable levels should be met by a pointing finger and the shouted word “Poison!”

Likewise the feminist movement. People get hung up on the words ‘equal’ and ‘fair’. When you take ‘equal’ to mean ‘identical in every way’ you are doomed from the start. It’s an impossibility. First, ‘equal rights’ assumes a level starting field. In the absence of this field any ‘identical’ measure will only propagate the disparity. One must first make certain that all the people that come to the table for debate are doing so from a comparable starting place.

The fairness of this leveling is a moot point.

Of course it’s unfair from the point of view of the man. I’m losing something and gaining nothing. Assuming that we raise the standing of women in our society however rather than lowering the standing of men the loss is only in comparison. It is only unfair if we assume that the male perspective is of more value than the woman’s.

Equal must mean “of a par”… and that comes with the recognition that some people will need more help than others. Is this ‘fair’? No. It’s just the way things are. At the risk of sounding communist for a moment equality can only arrive when government adopts the maxim “From each according to their ability. To each according to their needs”. It is the role of government to look after its citizenry. Business will look after its own interests. We need somebody to look after ours.

So when Tony at the Rant-Factory makes the point that the feminist movement didn’t need our help (our –being men) to be relegated to the fringes as per the writings of Christina Hoff Summers, it is another sandtrap. Women got suckered into arguing equal=identical and it is a losing argument. They fell to arguing among themselves as to procedure and goals. Which point is more important and how should we get there... We’re back to the paper rattling and how many parts per million.

Further, as in every movement there is a radical fringe and the word ‘feminist’ has, to a certain extent, been co-opted by the radical elements within feminism. When we hear the word feminist we hear “man-hater”. And when we see a feminist we see a raging woman spitting and screaming and shouting invectives. The moderate majority has taken a back seat to the people capable of grabbing the headlines.

The patriarchy has been able to sit back and watch it happen… and that’s assuming that I grant you that women put themselves there without any assistance whatsoever but to me that smacks solidly of blaming the victim. At best we’re complacent. At worst, we’re coercive.

So what must be done in order to reach ‘of a par’ equality? Well… first there has to be a level of re-education. The stigma of social assistance must be done away with. Welfare needs to be viewed as an entitlement as a member of our society to a basic level of comfort and existence. So long as we stigmatize those that need some assistance we place ourselves above them. Not just in matters of finance but of general worth.

Daycare. Make affordable daycare available so that there is the option to pursue a meaningful career. And along with daycare must come comprehensive and affordable health care. By adopting a preventative model of health care we would save millions in treatment.

Removal of red tape toward the establishment of equal pay for equal value. Right now the legal system is geared toward big business and tying up lawsuits. There is an incentive to seek settlement packages rather then binding court decisions that would mean the change of company policy.

Implementing these changes would not only bring some parity to the sexes but also have a positive effect on the racial divide.

I realize that I am simplifying a complicated problem. For the sake of brevity (too late!) and space I am ignoring the tangled nature of the beast. Issues of privilege and poverty. Issues of discrimination and prejudice. This is why re-education needs to be the first step and all others follow with greater ease after. Let's concern ourselves with just getting that first step done.

Just my thoughts…

posted by Michael 12:09 PM . . .

. . .

Scientists Poison Pond. Watch for Effects
After dumping more than 100 gallons of poison into a suburban pond in Maryland, scientists are watching to see if it will have any effect on the dreaded "Frankenfish". Now this strikes me as something that probably should have been tested before dumping the poison into an open system but I'm no scientist if only to avoid the possible "Well what do you know the little buggers are immune to the stuff."

A day after state officials dumped two herbicides into the four-acre pond 20 miles northeast of Washington, there was no sign that water oxygen levels had fallen enough to kill any of the northern snakehead fish lurking beneath the algae-clogged surface. "No dead fish yet," said Heather Lynch, spokeswoman for the state Department of Natural Resources.

No fish but 27 starlings, several cats, three squirrels and a drunken hobo. It also seems to have a mutating effect on the local mosquito population potentially spawning a new strain of the West Nile virus. But not to worry... there's every indication that things are working fine... right?

"This morning, the pond looked exactly like it did yesterday." Minus all the other life in it of course.

Hmmmm... don't these fish use their fins as crude legs? Barring having the pond circled by trained marine marksmen what's stopping them from getting up and going elsewhere?

Maryland officials hope the herbicides diquat dibromide and glyphosate will kill oxygen-producing vegetation and suffocate most of the fish in the Crofton pond, especially the colony of snakeheads which are capable of devouring all native species.

So to protect all the other native species... we're going to have to kill them. Just about sums up the Republican environmental policy right there. You can read the story here.

posted by Michael 10:42 AM . . .

. . .

My Last Thoughts on Equality Between the Sexes
Men have the government, big business, better wages, control of the courts, the media and most means of production. We have an easier time losing weight, direct influence on images of beauty and success and we're allowed to grow old gracefully. We can be promiscuous without the stigma of being a slut. We have control over all world religions (with the exception of Dianic Wiccans). Grey hair is sexy on a man. Glasses look distinguished. We are allowed to belch and fart in public places. There is no glass ceiling in any profession for us. It is easier for us to go to the bathroom while camping in the woods. We are rarely judged by the size of our breasts.

We have successfully pushed the feminist movement to a fringe group and chuckle when they argue amongst themselves about inconsequentials.

All of our patriarchal structures are alive and well and solidly entrenched.

Letting women have contol over their own bodies could only ever be a movement toward equality. Never away. And it is a sham and a grab for power to suggest otherwise. We want to control all means of production and that includes re-production.

The best that detractors from the idea that since it is a woman's body she gets to have final say in any decision about anything that happens to it can say is "It's not fair". Well they're right. It's not. Life isn't fair. Wear a helmet.

posted by Michael 12:28 AM . . .

. . .

Maybe a little early...

posted by Michael 1:23 PM . . .

. . .

Toward the Matter of Equal Representation in Reproductive Rights…
(A Not So Modest Proposal)

As it is a stumbling block toward the equality of all especially in the theater of reproductive rights that a woman should have sole choice in the matters of giving birth and “her body, her choice” has been deemed just a mantra or chant and not an intellectual position… And as “equal” has come to be used as “identical” rather then “of a par” I do believe that I have stumbled quite by accident upon the solution to our problem. One that would eliminate the matter of unplanned pregnancy entirely and thus bring equality once again “under the law”.

All men should be required to have a vasectomy performed upon them after the time of puberty.

In this manner no unwanted pregnancies could occur and only through consultation and a signed statement from both consenting parties would the operation be reversed in order to allow fertile intercourse and the conception of a child.

Upon confirmation of successful fertilization the man would be required to once again undergo the procedure.

A vasectomy is a simple operation. It is considered out-patient and is relatively painless. Relative to childbirth at least. Indeed there may be emotional trauma but then there is emotional trauma in childbirth as well and in an effort to make all things equal any emotional trauma that a man may suffer should be in this instance deemed acceptable. For the good of all.

Aha! I hear some naysayers in the back. What if the woman should change her mind (as is the female want) and decide that she does not want to bear a child after all. Why then of course she will be compelled to deliver. All things must be equal. And if her confinement is the only way to enforce this equality for the good of all then it must be so. Choice is not consistent with the idea of equality.

But should the man then be shown reluctant after signing the papers and reversing the operation he too shall be forced to proceed. I am given to understand that there are machines that can extract his fertile seed with or without his consent and this shall be done in order to consummate the fertilizing of an egg.

And during delivery the man shall be induced to suffer the same as a woman. Though genetically not equipped to do so, it has been suggested that the repeated insertion and removal of an oversized catheter into the urethra would approximate the discomfort of the woman during delivery. And this shall be done in order that all things are equal under the law.

And yet a second option for equality under the law now becomes clear to me. Let us say that no woman shall be allowed to become pregnant and carry a child in her womb. Rather all pregnancies must be registered and assigned and shall occur entirely in-vitro within the confines of a medical contruct. In this way we do nullify the “my body, my choice” mantra by removing the woman’s body from the equation.

It is true that we are removing the “joy and wonder of childbirth” but such sentiment has no place in our equal society. Indeed such sentiment is counter to equality as the woman experiences more joy and wonder than the man. Some may argue about the importance of bonding during the time of pregnancy but we do believe this to be more a creation of emotion rather then fact and in the unlikely event that such bonding does occur then both parents are invited to return to the hospital and tap on the glass and sing to the developing fetus as is their wish.

Further this second option would allow more freedom for the couple during the period of the pregnancy. For freedom is of course our right and privilege in our society and should be safeguarded at any cost. Freedom but not choice. Unchained from the constraints of her body. Removed from hormonal mood swings and cravings and irrational urges, the woman shall be able to continue with her life as normal.

Ownership of the fetus can then be determined through some other means rather then residency. I am not a master of these things and trust that such determinations would be fair and equal created under the law to protect both male and female from anything resembling a hasty choice. Perhaps total time spent in the presence of the developing child or some other objective measure would determine ownership. I have faith that some accomodation could be reached and that such measures would be deemed fair. Dissolving couples have navigated such waters before without incident as evidenced by splitting up combined CD collections or DVD's.

In this way may we bring equality to the theater of reproductive rights and thus safeguard our freedoms from those that would seek to raise one above another. Thank you gentle people for reading.

posted by Michael 11:59 AM . . .

. . .

No Womb to Argue...
Meryl Yourish has been unsuccessfully trying to unembroil herself from a discussion on reproductive rights. Now, I admit that I fall pretty heavily on the "women's bodies, women's choice" side of the argument with the single caveat that I do not believe abortion should ever become just another form of birth control. I do believe that part of a woman taking control of her body is taking control of it before sex and that means saying no when the prospect of unprotected sex looms.

I've been staying out of the argument till this point feeling that both sides were being pretty well represented with its centrists and fringes. Enter Tony at 'The Rant Factory' who said something that finally managed to push my buttons significantly enough to drop me off the fence.

First off, I'd like to point out that, with 3 kids of my own, I've got "street cred" on this topic. We (my wife and I) went through natural births all three times, and over the course of 6 years have probably put enough study hours into childbirth to get an Associate's Degree in it. I'm sure my wife would agree that anyone who goes through 3 natural births should get a diploma, but that's another topic altogether. Oh, and for those of you who raised an eyebrow at me using the word "we" to describe childbirth: the "we" part is why I've got street cred.

Well... I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if this is what you are carrying as "street cred" then I'm afraid you sir are poor indeed. You do not have experience with childbirth. What you have is experience WATCHING childbirth happen. Maybe holding your wife’s hand, being comforting, sharing the same room, helping her “breathe” by going hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo. Fetching ice chips, mopping brows. Or anything else you may or may not have done. In essence seeing childbirth happen. In all of its glory (and gory). You may have been the most comforting supportive person on the planet but until you actually push a baby down the birthing canal and out into the world you have zero experience with actual childbirth. And you are in no position to make judgements on how stressful (physically and especially emotionally) such a process may or may not be.

Your wife… yes. You? No. And even if your wife agrees with your assessment 100%... here's the wonderful thing about individuals. They differ.

It is a wonderful touchy-feely delusion that we (men) allow ourselves to believe. That we shared the experience of childbirth. I will never forget being in the room when our daughter was born. I am certain my hand still bears the marks of the pen that my wife inadvertantly jabbed into the flesh of my palm. (at least I tell myself it was inadvertant... it helps me sleep at night) It was amazing and frantic and scary and every emotion I have ever experienced all experienced at once.

But here's the thing.... she could have had that baby without me. I added to her experience and I came away with experiences all my own. None of which had anything to do with me giving birth.

So save the street credit and stick with your opinion. There are some authorities that we cannot claim no matter how much we try.

Side note having nothing to do with the above: I wonder if the religious right that has taken up this call for "father's rights" would be as supportive if the woman wanted to have the baby and the father wanted to force her to have an abortion.

posted by Michael 11:44 PM . . .

. . .

Picture liberally stolen from Amish Tech Support

Thank you Mister President for hosting that Economic Summit. I know that some people are cynically deriding the whole affair as being one grand photo-op with nothing of substance on the table. Others are pointing out that it has been stacked with big business and campaign contributors and the chances of a dissenting opinion coming out of the conference are about as likely as The Rerun Show being picked up for another season. But at least it shows that you realize that the economy is in pretty crappy shape. The first step in any recovery program is recognizing that there is a problem. Come on... this should be familiar to you. What's the next step? Taking responsibility.

Okay chances are you never made it to step two of any program and the likelihood of a politician taking responsibility ranks right up there with burning bushes speaking the will of the Lord but maybe... just maybe you'll concede that the tax-break idea wasn't exactly the smartest idea for what to do with all that money left you. It's not too late to put a stop to it either. Sure... we all got our 200.00 checks and that money is spent but all of those cuts and refunds to the wealthiest 1% and all of your Big Business friends are still sitting in the queue. You can't prop up the economy by rewarding fraudulent business practices. Be content with the fact that you got away with yours (and make sure you thank your father for that one) and drop the hammer on people trying to get away with theirs.

Lack of consumer confidence is being cited as the primary reason for the continued downturn in the economy. Now your policy on the economy seems to be mirroring your policy on the environment. "Let's abolish it! It's just too damned big and too hard to keep clean." Consumer confidence isn't going to improve by putting on a showy conference. Consumer confidence will only improve when we see actual steps being taken to safeguard stock prices against corporate manipulation. So take that next step. Take responsibility Mr. President. Take one for the team and root out the corruption from your own government. Confession is good for the soul and the economy even if it isn't particularly good for your re-election bid.

If you love this country, like you claim, you'll stop dicking around with 'economic summits' and do a little leading from the front. Of course you'll have to clear that with Cheney first...

posted by Michael 1:45 PM . . .

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OUCH!

posted by Michael 12:59 PM . . .

. . .

Bush Anti-Corruption Chief Accused of Account Fraud
Bush may not know a lot but he is certainly getting a schooling in what the word "irony" means. Deputy Attorney General Larry Thompson has been accused of insider trading for stock sales while he was part of Providian's board of directors. Thompson had been handpicked by Bush to head his new anti-corruption task force.

The law suit claims that Mr Thompson and other directors conspired to hide Providian's mounting losses in 2001 and inflated the company share price. Mr Thompson then sold more than £3 million of shares before the financial problems became public.

Curiously absent from the news in recent weeks is the law suit against Vice President Cheney which took aim at his actions while CEO of Halliburton. Makes you wonder just how big our national debt really is...

What has happened to our politicians these days? Look... I don't expect a lot from politicians. I expect them to lie, take bribes, pander to big business, and selfishly line their own pockets with taxpayer money while pursuing their own pet projects regardless of the needs of their constituents or the country in general. But I do expect them to be better at covering this stuff up. At least having the surface appearance of being respectable and working in our best interests. But these days they can't even bother to do that. Screw it! We're all corrupt and we make more than you.

Take some lessons from Reagan. I mean... okay there was that whole Iran-gate scandal but nobody really cared and nothing ever happened as a result of it. Oliver North was pardoned and got his own radio show and does guest commentary on CNN every so often. Bush Sr. got to be President. Okay... sure... a lot of those weapons are probably the weapons now being used against us by Al Qada and other terrorists but let's not mention that because it can only put some taint on the whole blind patriotism thing.

You can read about the Thompson law suit here.

posted by Michael 11:17 AM . . .

. . .

Smash this, Green-butt!
Meryl Yourish may have the Hulk... but I have co-opted my own superhero for this site. Hulk smash this... Hulk smash that... blah blah blah. He's not so incredible. no... not when I have the incredible Forbush Man!

Ahhh... hello. Gosh, this blog is a real mess! I don't think you people out there can see all the dust bunnies hiding behind these jpegs. I mean it's not as bad as that Banzai fellows but still...*cough* Yes well... Michael has been getting a couple of letters from people saying that they like his poetry. And he....ahhh... .just wanted me to say *clears throat* Thank you. You will be spared when the Revolution comes. *sound of crickets* Hey... where did everybody go? Auntie Mayhem?

posted by Michael 3:29 PM . . .

. . .

Does anybody remember the movie C.H.U.D? Apparently I am not frequenting the right video stores because Hollywood Video staff thought I was on some sort of hallucinogen. I can only hope that with the exploding DVD craze we might someday see a Criterion collection version that includes the sequel and running commentary by Bud the Chud.

They didn't have Watership Down either but at least the clerk knew it was that "bunny movie". He apparently thought I was some sort of "furry" or "plushy" from the look that he gave me but darn it I've just had this desire to see the movie recently. Now I know for a fact that a DVD of Watership Down exists because I've seen it in Wal-mart. I keep mentioning it to my wife in the hopes that she will break down and buy it for me. I should have learnt by now that this tactic doesn't actually work. If it did our house would be stuffed full of video games and even more books than we do have.

It's always been easier to convince her to get books then video games because we both are such rabid readers. But right now I have a stack of maybe fifteen books that I haven't gotten around to reading yet so it's a little more tricky then it usually is. All she needs to do is point to the pile and I hang my head sheepishly and let the matter drop. I'm just having a hard time finding one of them that I want to read right now. Have you ever felt that way? Just not in the mood to read a particular book even though you know that if you actually sat down with it you'd probably end up liking it fine.

Rachel's first birthday party is fast approaching. With the amazing hard work of CJ's sister our outdoor deck has been stripped, sealed and restained. I've been thinking about getting the Mormons who came by the other day to finish mulching the leaves in our backyard. We're going to have to buy a bizillion tiki torches to ward off the swarms of evil insects. "10 Die of West Nile Virus at Baby's Birthday Party". That's the sort of headline that'll follow you around forever. People pointing in shopping malls. Pulling their kids out of your way...

Erp... rachel is awake which means this update is forced to a premature end. Be back later (I hope)

posted by Michael 12:45 PM . . .

. . .

Congratulations Jews! You get to go to Heaven!
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops declared unequivocally on Monday that the biblical covenant between Jews and God is valid and therefore Jews do not need to be saved through faith in Jesus. Now don't you feel validated? No more eternal torment. No more random damning to Hell. Congratulations! Now it's just us pagans condemed to Hell for the fullness of eternity. The least they could do is upgrade us to Purgatory or Limbo.

You can read about the decision here.

posted by Michael 6:46 PM . . .

. . .

I've got two words for you, Mr. President...
I know that it's part of the Bush initiative to end the problems with welfare by targetting those lousy unwed mothers who are gobbling up our tax dollars but the 'Two Words' campaign is really rubbing me raw. Yes, the obvious answer to poverty: make certain every woman is married. That'll solve everything! Why... if we could save ourselves the few million dollars that we deign to dole out to support those societal leaches we could buy us a few more bombs and feel a little safer. Or give the oil industry another tax write-off.

But wait that's not insulting enough on its own... their message? Marriage solves every problem. Yes... if you believe the commercials get married and your kids will never have a drug problem, will stay in school and never get sick. Nothing bad ever happens to married people and their kids... Take Ted Bundy as an example: born out of wedlock --turned into a seriel killer. Who wants their children to grow up to be seriel killers? Well you don't have to worry if you just say those two little words first "I do."

See... the reason that children who grow up in single parent homes are more prone to illness than those that come out of a married household is the piss-poor state of medical coverage for lower income families. They get sick because they can't afford to be well. And no government Democrat or Republican has ever honestly tried to bridge this vast divide. Occassionally, around election time mostly, they'll recognize the problem and trot out a horrible statistic about just how many children in the United States have no medical coverage. They will blame each other venomously and after the election they will stick it back up on the shelf until the need for the next sound byte comes along.

I find it insulting to try and convince people that if you're married somehow everything will be better... because sometimes those women are single with kids after having to flee an abusive relationship by some drunken bum. And then they have a hard time making ends meet because he won't live up to his responsibilities and pay the appropriate child support. Solution: get married again. Of course! You're not complete and capable unless you have a man.

Well I've got two words for you, Mr. President.. irresponsible government. Or if irresponsible is too big a word for you how about "piss off".

posted by Michael 8:54 PM . . .

. . .

Lovecraft eat Your Heart Out... Literally!
Stealing this link because it made me smile...Tales of the Plush Cthulhu The horror! The horror! Gaze and read should you dare. IA! IA! CTHULHU FHTAGN!

posted by Michael 6:13 PM . . .

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posted by Michael 2:37 PM . . .

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Windows XP Update
Thanks to Adrienne who saved the day and restored my beloved task bar. She doesn't have a blog but she should because she's opinionated and more than that quite often she is right. Okay... maybe not about the death penalty... or Israel... and she's a little hedgy about forgiveness and violence in general. Come to think of it there are a lot of areas that we disagree... but she is a socialist so at least we have that in common. And she's amazing which unfortunately we don't.

posted by Michael 11:52 AM . . .

. . .

Women Expelled. Abusive Priests Kept
And what exactly is the message behind the decision that sexually abusive priests should be kept away from children but not expelled? Kick out women honestly seeking to grow in their faith but lets's keep the child molesters. While Jesus didn't say anything about women apostles he did say "suffer the little children to come unto me" and apparently some priests are just a little overzealous in trying to follow Christ's wishes. Of course they shouldn't be punished for it. Pedophiles need to eat too you know.

Conference leaders, drawing on the findings of experts on sex offenders, said they believe some abusers can recover and serve the church in administrative jobs far from young people.

Well... prison is pretty far away from young people. And by some stretch of luck sexually molesting children is indeed still against the law unless the Catholic lobby is a lot more powerful than I thought.

Now, gentle reader, before you think me a simple catholic basher with a mad on about church politics let me try to sway your thoughts. Wrapping the issue of protecting pedophiles under the blanket of forgiveness ignores one central tenent of confession and that is contrition. The 'sinner' must be truly penitent and show their contrition through some act before absolution is granted. And I'm afraid being moved to a desk job and saying sorry does not really balance out the weight of the sin. No four 'Hail Mary's' and three 'Our Father's' is going to cover it. The whole idea of the sacrament of absolution is cheapened.

Absolution is not a clean slate to do it again and if it happens well then we'll be really cross and do something about it.

The Catholic Church has the potential to do a great amount of good. But they are in the position of needing forgiveness. Forgiveness for hiding and abetting members from among their number in their predatory lifestyles. It will take an act of contrition on the part of the whole Church in order to repair the loss of faith. No amount of "this truly hurts us" hand wringing "we feel the pain of this like a wound" will change a single opinion if it is not followed up by action. And the Church seems oddly reluctant to do so.

Ratzinger said the Church was wounded by the seven women claiming holy vows and they were summarily kicked out. Why does one wound get treated and the other is left to fester and rot?

You can read about the latest decision not to kick out abusive priests here.

posted by Michael 11:41 AM . . .

. . .

Anybody Else Terrified of Mosquitos?
Forget suicide bombers or buying an airplane ticket. Forget fatty foods. With all of the press that the West Nile Virus has been getting lately I'd rather go outside without sunblock or proudly declare myself a liberal at an NRA convention. I'm terrified of our back yard. CNN has one of those 'chart the course of the outbreak' maps. The kind you see in plague movies. You can find it on this page in the 'Extra Information' box. Just look for the ominous red square with the sillhouette of a mosquitos and you too can watch the United States slowly go from grey to purple.

Wait a minute! West Nile... Nile--- Egypt? That's the Middle East isn't it? Maybe we are dealing with terrorists! Come to think of it... I'm pretty sure I saw a few mosquitos gathered outside our front door reading the Koran.

Now when I paranoidically douse myself with Off I can feel the rosy glow of patriotism. I am doing my part after all! Because if I can't go out in my back yard then the terrorists have already won. Errr... or something like that.

posted by Michael 2:45 PM . . .

. . .

Windows XP Help?
I used to have this handy bar to the left of my screen whenever I opened a folder. It had File Folders and Tasks, Other Places, and Details... and then one day I logged on and it was gone. I hadn't changed any settings. It is still present if we log onto my wife's user account but we can't figure out where it went or how we might get it back. There doesn't seem to be any difference between her settings and mine. If there's anybody out there with any suggestions please do email me! I miss my Other Places bar.

posted by Michael 2:17 PM . . .

. . .

New Poem up...
"My Life as a Serpent" has been added to Random Acts of Poetry along with a painting of the temptation of Eve. The painting is pretty famous but I forgot to take note of the artist. Ooops. Perhaps some art inclined viewer can send me a note with the information so I can sneak it in later and pretend that I knew it all along.

I don't know what it is about the character of Lucifer. I'm not a Satanist but there is something very compelling to me about the figure. I read a quote once from somebody or other that functioned as an apology for the devil and that quote has stuck with me even though the author of it has gone the way of the dodo... "We have only heard one side of the story and G-d has written all the books."

Since then a few of my pieces have been "apology pieces". My Day as a Serpent is one as was Beneath These Sculpted Lawns

You will notice that a lot of the poems that I'm putting up are steeped in mythology or make use of mythological archtypes. At the moment these archtypes seem to have a lot of resonance for me. I'm not sure why but when the Muse offers a gift you accept it with both hands. If I get enough of them I intend to collect them together into a unit called (apropriately enough) Personal Mythology.

But enough about poetry...we now return you to our regularly scheduled silliness and a snapshot of some happy firemen. Always time to mug for the camera!

posted by Michael 12:40 PM . . .

. . .

Chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erakat acknowledged the challenge of overcoming the "below-zero" trust level between Palestinians and Israelis Friday amid ongoing meetings with U.S. officials. "Maybe if we stopped lying all the time that might help." he said. 'And stop inciting our people to blow up in public... I mean a little anger is to be expected. We've been occupied for decades now... but really... come on... actually exploding? That's pushing the bounds. Maybe if we toned it back a little and just gesticulated wildly and got a little red in the face."

For their part the Israelis admitted that maybe stopping dropping big huge explosive devices in crowded residential areas might be something they might try to work on in the future.

Israel is really in a lose/lose situation. I recognize this. They recognize this. So they do the right thing and give Palestine land for peace, pull all of its settlers out of the occupied territories and guess what? Arafat, Hamas and Al Aqsa will all still be blowing the crap out of their civilians because terrorists only know hate. They don't know peace and they don't know negotiate. They make their money killing people. And if you don't think for a minute that underneath the rhetoric and the justifications that there is someone getting rich then I've got a bridge to sell you. It's certainly not the poor indoctrinated zealot who spreads himself thin over a square kilometer. But someone is.

What I don't understand is why Hamas is allowed to have negotiators in the first place. A member of Hamas steps forward, you arrest or shoot them. They are terrorists. They are evil. That "negotiator" has made the choice to ally and identify with a criminal organization. They should be treated as such. Instead, they are given air time and access to politicians in the mistaken belief that this will somehow advance the peace process. It won't. If this course of action does nothing else it will at the very least stop us from having to listen to all of the rehashed and refried reasonings for why when Israel kills someone it is a war crime and when Palestinians do it, they are justified.

Just once I would like to hear someone of either side report on the death of the other with an ounce of remorse and sympathy and disgust that the reality of daily life has gotten this far without a huge "but" hanging in the air. But sometimes civilian casualties happen. If only they wouldn't use human shields... But we have been pushed to such extreme measures by... blah blah blah blah.

Just once... eleven people were killed today. Three children. Let us bow our heads and pray for peace. The death of one diminishes me. For I am the World. Amen.

posted by Michael 3:03 AM . . .

. . .

How Did I Get Macaroni In My Hair?

It started slowly enough. First it was cheerios and goldfish crackers clutched tightly in her balled fist. Next it was fighting for the spoon while trying to feed her the bright yellow chicken noodle stuff in a bottle. Every mouthful was dutifully spat back out into her hand so she could look carefully at the bits of noodle before feeding them back into her mouth. I should have seen it coming. After all the baby food numbers had slowly crept up from a one through two to three. And then she was into “Graduates” and by then the change had already happened. Our daughter was feeding herself.

It happened all too quickly for me and while she was more than ready for the change, I wasn’t. I’ve come to realize that parenting is all about the slow process of learning to let go. And there it was. Like it or not, ready or not, I had to let go. I was no longer in control of everything. She no longer needed me for that. And I wasn’t ready to not be needed.

When I was feeding her clean-up was a rather simple exercise. A quick wipe-down of the face. Bibs were our friend catching the majority of the stuff that she decided to spit back out. Well… she quickly learned how to tear the bib off and trying to keep it on her probably burnt more calories then she was getting from the food. It was like trying to put a napkin on a whirlwind.

The ease of clean-up diminished in direct proportion to her independence. The dribs and drabs around the mouth became full-blown full face masks of yuck. While I was having horror visions of her choking on a piece of macaroni she was dutifully smearing pasta sauce through her hair and smiling all the while.

She doesn’t seem all that particular about how food makes its way into her mouth or by what route it arrives. Eating has become a treasure hunt for food detritus. How did cheerios end up in her diaper? What’s that in her hair? Heck! What’s that in my hair? There is no magical forcefield around the highchair dinner tray though sometimes I fervently wished that there was. She could send food flying with the wave of one arm and handing her a spoon is akin to handing her a grenade.

Now when we travel with Rachel to restaurants we bring a splash mat. We bought one of the cheap plastic shower curtains at a dollar store and cut it into four big squares. We slip one under her high chair before offering her morsels from off our plates. She likes to eat what we’re eating and as a result we’re eating a little healthier these days.

Some day, possibly soon, she will wean herself from bottles. Already she is showing a marked preference for her sippy-cup and that will be one more thing that I will learn to let go of. But in exchange I am getting to see the blossoming of this wonderful new person with tastes all her own. I only hope that she doesn’t end up really liking boiled potatoes.

From the parenting trenches…

posted by Michael 2:15 AM . . .

. . .

A Place to Placate the Muse
If you are of a poetic bent and like to read the musings of strangers... come on over to Random Acts of Poetry. Currently featuring 'The Lesson of Icarus' and the painting 'The Fall of Icarus' by Brueghell. Let me know what you think.

posted by Michael 3:50 PM . . .

. . .

Orcas of Puget Sound "Not Significant"

The Bush administration admitted on 7-1-02 that they knew that the Puget Sound population of orcas was going extinct, but decided that they should not be protected under the Endangered Species Act because their extinction was "not significant". Over the past six years the Puget Sound resident killer whale population has declined nearly 20%, leaving only 78 individuals in the population at the end of the 2001 survey year. The cause of the current decline appears to be the synergistic effects of high levels of toxic pollutants, a population decline in their preferred salmon prey, and human disturbance. In other words.... us. We're the cause of their decline. We poison their water, overfish their food supplies and we chase them around with sight seeing craft.

This is the first time in the history of the Endangered Species Act that a presidential administration has OKed the extinction of a plant or animal. The decision came in response to a petition filed by the Center for Biological Diversity and others in May 2001. The Center for Biological Diversity and 11 co-petitioners asked Fisheries Services to list the the orca group as 'endangered' under the ESA. \the Fisheries Service determined that this population of orcas was a discrete population, and also found that they were in danger of extinction. However, the agency determined that the whales didn't meet a subjective, superimposed criteria: whether the whales are 'significant.'

You can read about the lawsuit filed by the petition signitors here.

posted by Michael 12:51 PM . . .

. . .

On Crop Circles and Anna Nicole Smith

At one point in my life I would have dearly loved to believe that crop circles were signs carved into the earth by shy aliens with a hatred of grain products and corn. I love the idea that beings from another planet have and continue to visit us but I balk at the idea that they have the technology to find their way here but stumble when it comes to an effective method of communication. Crop circles become the alien equivilent of tagging. "Xenu was here."

Like most areas of the fantastic 'crop circles' were never about science and everything about belief. People believe them to be of alien design because they like the world that such a belief creates. It is far more interesting and expansive then the world where a team of people with ropes and boards and armed with a protractor spend an evening wandering around fields tromping down corn rows. Please let it be aliens. The alternative is too dull.

I prefer to look more earthward for my signs. The arrival of the Anna Nicole Smith show. That's definitely a sign though I'm not particularly sure what it is a sign of... Maybe the triumph of lowered expectations. It is now official we pander to the lowest common denominator. If only there were aliens that we could blame it on. Or even bored academics with ropes. But no... it's us. And I feel bad for Ms. Smith because somebody told her that this show would make her famous and she believed them. But the truth is people are watching the show and laughing at her and she seems to be the only one not in on the joke. It is a slow form of character assassination being played out before a willing consumer audience. She is the butt of every joke. No matter how vapid she may be it is still painful. I will not watch the show because my world does not contain such a spectacle.

I prefer to believe that people are better than that. That there is no place for such a continuous assault on a person's dignity even if they are being handsomely recompensed for the experience.

Some people believe in aliens. I believe in the inherent goodness of our society. But between you and me... I'd rather believe in aliens.

posted by Michael 11:24 AM . . .

. . .

Reading Meryl Yourish's blogbit about expiration dates on water reminded me of something that always seemed apropos to me with life in North America.

There is a high voltage warning sign near us. It has the big red lightning bolt striking the shocked looking stickman with the little painful dashes surrounding his head in a semi-circle. It is written in French, Spanish, Chinese and English. In French, Spanish and Chinese it reads “Warning! High Voltage” In English it reads "Warning High Voltage: Do Not Touch!" Because apparently we English speakers need that extra bit of warning that is self-evident to the rest of the world.

posted by Michael 11:25 AM . . .

. . .

Please tell me that it'll never really come to this!

posted by Michael 12:06 AM . . .

. . .

Jolene L. has a wonderfully personal introspection over at seething.blogspot.com. She shares in a way that I am too scared and too protective to do. Sometimes I fool myself into believing that I have but then I run into a piece like this and realize what I considered being naked in front of others was really me in long underwear dashing across the stage. Though if you have ever seen me naked... you're secretly thankful for the brevity and the clothing.

posted by Michael 12:03 AM . . .

. . .

Why We Shouldn't Attack Iraq
We should beat the crap out of Saudi Arabia. Iraq is the noisy neighbour. Full of rhetoric. They are the barking dog drawing attention away from the sociopathic serial killer eating at our table. Saudi Arabia holds telethons for suicide bombers, funds terrorists, provides training camps. The majority of "known" terrorists are Saudi citizens. They do everything and more than we claim Iraq is doing and we have mountains of proof about the Saudis and only speculation about Iraq. Their human rights abuses are worse than the Taliban and we're still bombing them. If you're really fighting a war against terrorism forget Iraq. Go for the real terror regime.

But Saudi Arabia isn't as big a PR target as Iraq is it? And we have the elections coming up and all. You'll want to be in full gear for 2004.

posted by Michael 10:29 PM . . .

. . .

At last! Their secret agenda revealed.

posted by Michael 9:03 PM . . .

. . .

Sure Take It Away! She'll Just Make More!
Well... security is tight but this is ridiculous. A woman carrying expressed breast milk was ordered to drink it before boarding her flight. Security refused to let her on the plane saying that the milk could be an explosive or she might intend to throw it at the stewardess. Delaying take-off, she eventually had to get an airport supervisor to let her onto the plane. Give me stale peanuts? Take that stewardess!! Hah! Breast milk in your eyes!! Somehow I don't picture it having the same effect as acid.

Does that make her breasts illegal weapons manufacturing plants?

Read the story here.

posted by Michael 8:49 PM . . .

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posted by Michael 3:10 PM . . .

. . .

Don’t Like it, Leave

This is the argument used by fanatic patriots against anyone criticizing the country and the downward spiral it is stubbornly marching errr.. down. The government knows best. The government has our best interests at heart. Bush knows what he is doing. Well… I’m sorry. Bush was an idiot before September 11th and he’s still an idiot today. The terrorist attack did not magically transform him into a genius. I understand the need for seeking comfort but closing our eyes does not change the fact that the person driving this bus is stuck pretending he’s in the movie ‘Speed’.

By some coincidence “Don’t like it? Leave.” is also the argument used against women priests in the Catholic Church by the majority of laymen. “If you want to be a priest, fine. Leave the Catholic Church. Go elsewhere and find a faith that believes in female ordination.” There are three basic flawed assumptions that go with this argument. They exist in the political sense and they exist in the ‘spiritual’. Just substitute the words “United States for “Catholic Church” and ‘Americans’ for ‘catholics’


1. The Catholic Church is fine the way it is.
2. Women have nothing to contribute to holy orders.
3. All Catholics believe and accept all Catholic dogma.

Despite the wishes of the patriarchy to promote the third idea as the norm it is simply not true. It isn’t true when you read it as “All Americans believe and accept all American dogma” and it isn’t true when you look at the Catholic Church. Have sex before marriage? Use birth control? Believe transubstantiation and the virgin birth are more symbolic than literal? Well then you are against the Catholic Church and could be subject to excommunication. The “norm” is really the creation of a personal structure within the overall framework of Church. But we identify with the overall structure for comfort’s sake. Kick out everybody that doesn’t believe exactly the strict and narrow and you’d probably be left with just the Pope. And if you (the ubiquitos ‘you’) don’t fit the definition, stray and fall short then you certainly do not have the right or authority to pass judgment on how another organizes their faith under the same label.

The idea that women have nothing to contribute to holy orders is ridiculous and self serving to those who want to keep power for their (male) selves. The truth is allowing women to be ordained would be a change. And the status quo always fears change. The Church can hide behind the biblical interpretation that Jesus chose no women apostles but here’s another interpretation for people of that bent. Jesus welcomed women among his followers. Mary Magdalene traveled everywhere that the Apostles went. Spoke and shared the same messages that the Apostles spoke. The Apostles spoke out against her presence but Jesus affirmed it. And it is after Jesus’ death that the same people who spoke out against her before were now in a position to speak out against her again.

Consider further that the risen Jesus appeared first before two women and told them to go and tell others. The risen Jesus chose two women to carry his message.

But what would Jesus know really.

And finally “the Catholic Church is fine the way it is”. Well… clearly the Catholic Church is not fine the way it is. It is hemorrhaging followers. It is mired in controversy and scandal. The Church itself is in crisis and people are expressing a lack of faith in the structure of the Church and its clergy. The Church is not fine. Would adding women to the mix change things? Cardinal Ratzinger has suggested in the past that women are more fragile creatures more likely to give in to temptation and lust. But to be honest it’s a little hard to imagine things being a whole lot worse in that department at the moment.

Just my thoughts as an outsider.

posted by Michael 3:01 PM . . .

. . .

7 Women Priests Excommunicated. Man that Ordained them Left Alone

Sending a very real message about the role and worth of women the Catholic Church went ahead with excommunicating seven (including a nun) who were publicly ordained on a boat in Austria by Argentinean Bishop Romulo Braschi. According to Catholic dogma women are excluded from holy orders citing the fact that Jesus chose no women for among his apostles. Cardinal Ratzinger called the ordination “damaging for the role of women in the church” and “a wound”.

The seven women were given the deadline of July 22nd to repent and renounce their ordination.

Now here’s the problem as I see it... Let’s ignore for the moment the idea that women have nothing to contribute to holy orders. Obviously all of that empathy and compassion would only get in the way of their priestly duties. And let’s look instead at what message is being sent by excommunicating the women while leaving Romulo Braschi without even a rebuke.

The Catholic Church claims that Braschi is not recognized with the authority to bestow holy orders. If this is the case then there has been no breach of Catholic dogma. The ordination is not real. The women might as well be claiming to be the Easter Bunny. There is nothing to renounce or repent from. And no reason to proceed with an excommunication.

By excommunicating the women the Catholic Church is recognizing the ordination as a valid act and Braschi as a de-facto agent of the Church. The Catholic Church cannot have it both ways. Either the ordination was real and a breach of dogmatic tradition or it was perpetrated by someone without the right or authority to perform the act and is without substance. If it merits excommunication then it seems to me that Braschi should be the one receiving the punishment and the fact that he is not points to the Catholic tendency to “blame the victim”. We see it in the matter of the pedophilia priests. And we see it here. Do not blame the clergy involved. Everyone else should know better.

That is the real message sent by this excommunication. We accept no responsibility.

I don’t know what “role” Ratzinger was talking about for women but I’ve got a feeling that it is passive and subjective and has something to do with breeding more Catholics.

There’s nothing more threatening to patriarchy then a woman who thinks for herself.

You can read the story here.

posted by Michael 2:10 PM . . .

. . .

See! The Amazing Walking Baby!
Walking? Forget about it... she's into running. Go! Go! Go! She's up to about twelve steps now before falling over and she crossed a friend's basement last night to make it into CJ's arms. Her legs this morning are looking a little worse for wear with some bumps and bruises but she doesn't seem to mind Walking is this new and exciting thing and mommy and daddy go bananas when they see me doing it so...
And she's started talking back. Not even a year old and you tell her "no" she'll hesitate for a moment and then say the baby equivilant of "yes". A big nod of the head and a determined "Ahh!".

posted by Michael 11:26 AM . . .

. . .

Where Have All the Kids Shows Gone?
Okay I admit... I like "Between the Lions" and Dora the Explorer gets stuck in your head (much like an icepick wielded by a happy singing monkey might. The whole "You did it" schtick has permenantly entered our vernacular) but thats about it. Clifford makes me gag and Caillou (or however you spell his name) is so chock full of sugary moral goodness that I want to throw things at the television. Whatever happened to all of the great kids cartoons? Whither H.R. Puffinstuff? And don't point to Barney because other then the fact that there's a man in a giant puppet suit that's where any similarity ends. There's nothing wacky or zany or completely off the wall in kids television shows today. It's all safe and fun and boring.

Saturdays used to be a glorious wonderland of Thundarr the Barbarian, the Superfriends, GI Joe, Spiderman and his Amazing Friends, Carebears, My Little Pony. On every channel from 5am and Professor Kitzel, The Wizard of Oz, Pinnochio and that really weird House of Horrors show with Wolfman Jack dancing in a swirling psychadelic pinwheel of light till noon when stinky news or wrestling would take over. Now... a cartoon wasteland.

I dread when Rachel gets older and we have to go see movies like The Family Bears.

posted by Michael 5:09 PM . . .

. . .

So you say you want to surf...
You want to surf the web but don't know what you're looking for. Too lazy to come up with a direction on your own or track down anything you're really interested in? Have no fear! Mangle, the random link generator is for you. Go ahead... have fun. See where you end up. Just the latest innovation to help you waste your time more effectively.

posted by Michael 4:14 PM . . .

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Mmmmmm... that's good bass!
Ohio has decided to stop informing people of how toxic their fish are. Whooohooo!! you say. The toxins have dropped to a safe level making the service obsolute. Uhh-uhh. The fish are still poisonous. They've just stopped talking about it. The Ohio Department of Health abolished its fish-consumption advisory program earlier this month to save the $100,000. I wonder how much the lawsuits from sick consumers are going to cost? If a man can sue McDonalds for making him obeise you can bet that someone will sue the State when they come down sick after eating a two headed mackeral. You can read the story here.

posted by Michael 10:10 AM . . .

. . .

Why Walk When You Can Run!
It seems like only yesterday Rachel was taking her first few tentative steps... Wait a minute... it was only yesterday. So how come she's now lurching across the room? No fear. The briefest of hesitations and off she goes. Five or six steps, a pause and then she sits down. I want to hug her close and tell her "slow down" There's no need to rush these things.

My heart gives a little jolt every time she lets go of the couch. I can feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Being a father has made me vulnerable in a wonderful way. And it has made me realize just how selfish I can be. I don't want her to grow up so quickly. I don't want her to let go of that couch. Not quite this soon. She may be ready to walk but I'm not so sure that I'm ready for her to walk. And I realize that its all about letting go. Of the couch... of the baby. Not just watching her grow but grow up. And its not easy.

I am watching the budding birth of an independent person.

posted by Michael 9:39 AM . . .

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